Sam Trammell : The Guardian

Hi, Sam. You play, er, Sam in True Blood. Are you rubbish at remembering names or something?

I'm horrible at remembering names, embarrassingly bad. I've already forgotten your name (1). Touché!

You own Merlotte's Bar And Grill. If Jason Stackhouse took over, would he rebrand it Stackhouse's Snackhouse?

Stackhouse's Snackhouse! If Jason took over my restaurant it would a disaster. People would just order take-out pizza and beer.

You can shapeshift, usually into a dog. Who would be most fun: Marmaduke, Lassie, Scooby-Doo or Snoopy?

I'd have to go with Scooby because he solves mysteries haphazardly and gets to hang out with Daphne. She's the really pretty one, right?

Is there much to think about when you're a dog other than "I'm hungry"; "I need a crap"; and "I wonder what my testicles taste like?"

It's like all that at once. Also, "What does that other dog's butt smell like?" That's the big one.

True Blood is set in Bon Temps (2). Why is everyone's French accent so rubbish?

[Bemused] Really?

Well, apart from the [SPOILER ALERT!] new English vampire. Is he a baddy cos, you know, the English always play baddies?

Yeah, he does play a kind of … it'll be a spoiler, though. Do you want me to tell you?

It's OK. We'll put "spoiler alert" in big letters.

[SPOILER ALERT!] He's horrible. He's English, what did you expect? I love him. James Frain (3) (4) (5) (6) is a fantastic actor.

When he's sucking neck, does he stick his little finger out like one should?

He is a bit dainty for Bon Temps. He needs his biscuits. Biscuits are these puffy things that you put gravy on. He wants a cookie.

Season one gave us vampires. Season two, zombies. Season three, it's [SPOILER ALERT!] werewolves, [MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT!] werecats and fairies. What's next? Bigfoot and Santa?

[FAKE SPOILER ALERT!] Next season we'll be travelling to Ireland (7) to find the Loch Ness monster.

At the True Blood Christmas party, what's the door policy? Personal invite in on the door only?

Ha! I think Sam would leave all the vampires standing outside. He doesn't like vampires that much.

True Blood is mostly filmed at night so if, like me, you try to watch during the day, you have to nail the curtains closed. Why don't you turn the brightness up a bit?

Or go somewhere sunnier? [FAKE SPOILER ALERT!] True Blood goes to Hawaii, that's what we're going to work on for the next season.

Vampires neck human blood to survive. Humans drink vampire blood (8) to get high. [SPOILER ALERT!] Werewolves use V to gain powers and vampires feast on werewolves. Wouldn't it be simpler if everyone stuck to Dr Pepper?

Dr Pepper has way more flavours. It's funny you should say that because Dr Pepper is what I drink on set. So it would be easier.

Thanks, Sam. You were in Alien Vs Predator: Requiem. Alien vs Predator vs Vampire vs [SPOILER ALERT!] Werewolf vs Shapeshifter vs Mike Tyson. Who'd win?

Alien, always. Getting killed by an alien was the high point of my career.

True Blood, Friday, 10pm, FX

1 It's … oh, never mind

2 Bon Temps, Louisiana

3 Franklin Mott

4 Played Audrey Raines's husband in 24, Day 4

5 Except not for long, Jack lets him die

6 Erm [spoiler alert!]

7 Well, even monsters need holidays

8 V. Just say no, kids